when my son came home yesterday to tell me there were 12 days of school left i felt a small pang of sadness inside. nothing sentimental like my son finishing his first year of school or anything ‘silly’ like that. being my first year out of the classroom i realized that i miss the countdown; i miss having checklists and turning items in and getting initials; i miss collecting and turning in the many and varied items that signaled the end of another year. i miss the tangible closure. being a 12 month employee i won’t get to have that anymore. i was thinking more about it today and i realized something…i’m a checker. i enjoy closure and all indications are i may never have that in my current position and maybe that is a good thing. while i enjoyed turning in my keys and lists and closing off my room the reality was i would come back in 10 weeks and relive it all again, so was there really the closure i thought? furthermore, its not like the kids i taught walked out and never came back to visit, so my relationships with my students didn’t end either. looking at what i’m doing now it seems more of a never-ending-story if you will. the emphasis on follow up, job embedded professional learning and professional growth don’t allow the same thing all over again, and while i enjoy closure i abhor the monotony of doing the same thing over and over again which is perhaps why i was prone to change schools, grades, etc. so no more end of the year checklists for me. for now, i’ll have to settle on checking off items on a meeting agenda to get my fix.
confession of a checker